Log In
Name:
Pass:
Online Members (0)
No members are currently online.
Current Interguild Time:
Fri Mar 29 2024 8:35 am
Member Chat Box  [click here to enlarge]
Recent Posts and Comments
« Forum Index < Random Chat Forum
«Previous | 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, . . . 9, 10, 11 | Next»

jellsprout
[?] Karma: +5 | Quote - Link
Thursday, March 17 2011, 5:59 pm EST
Lord of Sprout Tower

Karma: -2147482799
Posts: 6445
Gender: Male
pm | email
Post your jokes here.

An Amish family is visiting a mall in a large city. The father is sitting with the son in the hall. They are staring at the elevator, wondering what it is. They see an old woman stepping in. The doors close and the numbers above the elevator go up. After a few seconds the numbers start dropping again. Then they see a young, attractive woman stepping out. The father pokes the son and says: "Quick boy, get your mother."


Spoiler:
soccerboy13542
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Thursday, March 17 2011, 6:10 pm EST
~*~Soccer~*~

Karma: 450
Posts: 4466
Gender: Male
Location: 1945
pm | email
Ooohh i've got a GREAT one!!

*scroll down*
























neezles


'Livio' said:
You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me.
Yaya
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Thursday, March 17 2011, 6:31 pm EST

Age: 28
Karma: 747
Posts: 5367
Location: Ohio (US)
pm | email
Here's a pun:
Spoiler:


And: There's an Irishman, a Muslim, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.



COMING SOON: A giant meteor. Please.
Give me +karma. Give me +karma.
jellsprout
[?] Karma: +11 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 2:40 pm EST
Lord of Sprout Tower

Karma: -2147482799
Posts: 6445
Gender: Male
pm | email
Spoiler:


Spoiler:
Bmwsu
[?] Karma: +1 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 2:46 pm EST

Age: 28
Karma: 175
Posts: 2557
Gender: Male
pm | email
WTF Jell!?  This is "Jokes", not "Books".

I'll read it, but I don't know when I'll have the motivation.


DeathBunni X
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 4:35 pm EST
Eww, school.

Age: 26
Karma: 87
Posts: 690
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest
pm | email
I'm pretty sure that's the longest post that's not spam in interguild history.


  
Bryan
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 5:01 pm EST
The Great Lakes

Age: 27
Karma: 21
Posts: 137
Gender: Male
Location: Your local cattle ranch
pm | email
Wow, Jell! I read it all, but it was worth it.

I think you should put in a spoiler, though, because it really stretches the page.



soccerboy13542
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 5:55 pm EST
~*~Soccer~*~

Karma: 450
Posts: 4466
Gender: Male
Location: 1945
pm | email
WOW. long post. if that was on the old interguild you'd have like 9999999999999999999999999 dubloons O.O


'Livio' said:
You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me.
Bmwsu
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 5:56 pm EST

Age: 28
Karma: 175
Posts: 2557
Gender: Male
pm | email
Wow... Probably the longest joke I've read, but still pretty good.


soccerboy13542
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 5:59 pm EST
~*~Soccer~*~

Karma: 450
Posts: 4466
Gender: Male
Location: 1945
pm | email
copied+pasted into microsoft word. 19 pages.


'Livio' said:
You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me.
Silver
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 6:14 pm EST

Karma: 121
Posts: 3581
Gender: Female
pm | email
I'm not sure if I can read all that or not. And I'm a good reader...
Isa
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Friday, March 18 2011, 6:40 pm EST
No. I'm an octopus.

Age: 31
Karma: 686
Posts: 7833
Gender: Male
Location: Uppsala, Sweden - GMT +1
pm | email
It took me 25 minutes to read that. Wow.

Good story, I suppose.
jellsprout
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 6:49 am EST
Lord of Sprout Tower

Karma: -2147482799
Posts: 6445
Gender: Male
pm | email
The scrolling did take a bit long, so I put it in spoiler tags.
And the Old Interguild had a limit on the amount of dubloons you could earn in a single post. I couldn't have gotten more than 10,000.


Spoiler:
Isa
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 7:20 am EST
No. I'm an octopus.

Age: 31
Karma: 686
Posts: 7833
Gender: Male
Location: Uppsala, Sweden - GMT +1
pm | email
Go post it on IceCaves and become rich and famous!
jellsprout
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 7:38 am EST
Lord of Sprout Tower

Karma: -2147482799
Posts: 6445
Gender: Male
pm | email
Quote:
You have been awarded 11872 icepoints for posting on the site.


Spoiler:
Dekudude
[?] Karma: +1 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 11:45 am EST
Dekudude

Age: 31
Karma: 64
Posts: 617
Gender: Male
pm | email
Did you hear about the red ship, and the blue ship, that collided? All of the sailors were marooned. D:


NP Username: xaantan
Yaya
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 12:41 pm EST

Age: 28
Karma: 747
Posts: 5367
Location: Ohio (US)
pm | email
Oof, that was heavy on my pun sensory...



COMING SOON: A giant meteor. Please.
Give me +karma. Give me +karma.
soccerboy13542
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 1:10 pm EST
~*~Soccer~*~

Karma: 450
Posts: 4466
Gender: Male
Location: 1945
pm | email
I got up to bat. About to pitch the ball. It looked as if the ball was getting bigger though. Then. It hit me.


'Livio' said:
You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me.
jellsprout
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 1:13 pm EST
Lord of Sprout Tower

Karma: -2147482799
Posts: 6445
Gender: Male
pm | email
George W. Bush's personal library burned down. Both books have been lost. Bush is very sad, he never got to finish coloring the second book.


Spoiler:
soccerboy13542
[?] Karma: +2 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 1:22 pm EST
~*~Soccer~*~

Karma: 450
Posts: 4466
Gender: Male
Location: 1945
pm | email
I have a pencil with an eraser on both sides. I don't see the point :/


'Livio' said:
You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me.
Isa
[?] Karma: +2 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 1:24 pm EST
No. I'm an octopus.

Age: 31
Karma: 686
Posts: 7833
Gender: Male
Location: Uppsala, Sweden - GMT +1
pm | email
Without me, it's just aweso
Yaya
[?] Karma: +2 | Quote - Link
Saturday, March 19 2011, 9:14 pm EST

Age: 28
Karma: 747
Posts: 5367
Location: Ohio (US)
pm | email
I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.



COMING SOON: A giant meteor. Please.
Give me +karma. Give me +karma.
Harumbai
[?] Karma: +7 | Quote - Link
Sunday, March 20 2011, 2:06 am EST
[|]-X-[|]

Age: 30
Karma: 260
Posts: 1743
Location: New Zealand
pm | email
I quite like this one;

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."

"No," says President Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If Air Force One carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims President Bush, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."


Upcoming HatPC level: Sanctuary, coming soon to an internet browser near you...
Thomas
[?] Karma: -4 | Quote - Link
Sunday, March 20 2011, 2:24 am EST
the clique shall prevail

Karma: 111
Posts: 2503
Gender: Female
Location: clique
pm | email
Unfortunately I gave you karma Harumbai. JUST KIDDING!!!       good joke?
Yaya
[?] Karma: 0 | Quote - Link
Sunday, April 3 2011, 5:55 pm EST

Age: 28
Karma: 747
Posts: 5367
Location: Ohio (US)
pm | email
What's a child abductor's/creeper's favorite chord? A minor.



COMING SOON: A giant meteor. Please.
Give me +karma. Give me +karma.

« Forum Index < Random Chat Forum
«Previous | 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, . . . 9, 10, 11 | Next»

In order to post in the forums, you must be logged into your account.
Click here to login.

© 2024 The Interguild | About & Links | Contact: livio@interguild.org
All games copyrighted to their respective owners.